Crooked stripes.

I have much to say about what I learned and what I saw and who I spoke to and everything I am waiting for, but I will save it. Because it is late. And I have been up too late for the past few nights.
I will leave you with this:

O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbor
With your crooked heart.

I am loving Auden these days.

Vendredi/Samedi/Dimanche

I spent this weekend with my older sister and my brother-in-law and my younger sister and my niece to be. There were brownies and coffee and coffee and coffee.
And my best friend.
K showed up. I was tired as ever and worried about French homework and in mid-laughter when she walked through the door in her red shoes. I didn't know, I didn't realize it was her. It was like a dream. I really believed it was a dream, because if you knew how many times I imagine her walking through a door where I am, you might be sad for me. But it was real.
It was real this time.
We sat shoulder to shoulder on a yellow couch and I was too happy.

I learned so much this last week. Here is one of my best things.
You will never truly be happy until you realize that your life is not about you.
Here is my worst thing.
I want to make people laugh. I don't know how to do that, and never before this Friday have I wanted more than ever to make people laugh.

Life is all colors and bliss these days.
I don't know what I want. I don't know who is going to walk through my door. I don't know what to do.
And that is not a sin.
Not knowing is not a sin. Because my life is not about me. The most fabulous thing about that though is that I know it. So here's to coffee and making things and going places and seeing people and "Madeline" and not knowing.

Here is to not being sure.

my little sister and i sew together at the ocean while doing somersaults.

(via)

dear fleur.
tandy and i have been spending a lotttttt of time together. i like it. i love my little sister. sunday we counted cars and dreamed of ice cream and went to church. today we went to track and talked and went for a walk in our pajamas. this weekend we're going to the
beach.
i think i just might die. we will definitely be taking lots of pictures. at my favourite place in the world. with my dear, dear sister. who drives me crazy. and is so adorable. and we will probably do cartwheels in the sand. or something amazing like that.
i am so dang happy.
and i don't even say dang.

love, bella.

post script: i have been hand-sewing my fingers off. love it.