Bible.

I like teaching children. For many reasons, but mostly because children have all the answers. They don't necessarily have all the right answers, but they do have all the answers.
And they're not afraid to claim them. They claim them like they're treasures, pressed against their chests and holding up a single finger with their head bowed but one eye squinting open to see if everyone else thinks the same thing. Or with a hand that shoots up so high and so fast and so surely that you even begin to doubt that they really don't know what they're talking about. Or in a small voice that chirps up from the table or the rug or in the closet because it is so exasperating and you need to know what they think.
Children have all of their answers.
And I like that best, because they actually say them. Out loud. Even if they could be wrong.

I try to think back to when I wasn't worried about being wrong. When my voice wasn't so quivery and I didn't hesitate. When things were simple because they just were. But I can't remember.
I can't remember what that felt like.
It must have been powerful.

I always believed in God. I can't remember not believing in God. I can't even remember accepting His promises and asking for His forgiveness and salvation and love because I did it so long ago when I was so small. I forget. I do remember trying to doubt Him. I remember that especially well. Sitting in my bedroom on my white sheets trying so hard to convince myself that God wasn't real and I was fooling myself. I couldn't comprehend that though. I just ended up laughing at myself and how absurd I was when I was pretending that I didn't believe in my Carpenter. I had all the answers then I think.
But I was wrong about so many things.

I learned the most I've ever learned this last year and the one before. About myself. And worship. And joy. And grace. And God.
Mostly about God.
It's come from a plethora of experiences. A year without clothes. Chasing perfection. James Bond. My pastor. Mark Driscoll. Books about Jews who converted. Thoughts on Mormonism. The Mitford series. Savings accounts for mission trip futures. Choices. Churches. Classes. People who believe in God. People who don't believe in God. C.S. Lewis.
Everything. I've been finding my Carpenter in everything.

I don't have all the right answers these days.
But I do have all the answers. Kind of. I mean, my hand goes up a lot more. Quietly, and slowly, but still, it goes up.

The most fascinating discovery I have made this last year is that I always had the right answers with me.
Ever since I was little.
They're in this brown leather book.
And it feels really powerful.