101010.

Dear Fleur.
My little sister is pretending to be a vegetarian for a week. She is a vegetarian for a few hours. Then she has ham for lunch. And then she is a vegetarian for a few more hours. it's pretty much a win-win situation. And kind of attractive. I don't know.

I realized today that I feel like that. A fake vegetarian. See, I don't think I am in love with God enough. It's kind of weird. I always thought of God as my "Father". And it was nice and all. Having a daughterly love like that. But today while in church I started to feel limited by that.
I WANTED TO BE IN LOVE WITH JESUS.
I kind of wanted Jesus to be my fiance or something like that. Maybe my boyfriend. Or even my husband. That would be so great. To be married to Jesus. Then I realized that that doesn't actually happen till he comes back to get us. So I just decided he and I will be engaged.

And I stopped feeling like a vegetarian who wasn't really a vegetarian. And I felt like the one girl who sometimes doubts everything but is entirely in love with Jesus wholeheartedly and can't wait to go to her own wedding in heaven.

I have new wedge heels that I love. And a lot of steak in my freezer. And that's just what I've been thinking about. That and a lot of Donald Miller.
Love Bell.