There's something so tiring about my generation and our perpetual narcissism. We love attention. We crave attention.
I'm sorry, I'm going to be blatantly honest and crude here.
We are attention whores.
We build a hearth and make camp and dock ourselves by dropping weighty anchors at the cusp of everything we find controversial. We live lives that are incredibly dismissive of God and His omnipotence. We are lazy and un-daring and unwilling.
And I'm tired of it.
I am so very tired of people. And I know that probably sounds rude and selfish and unchristian, but it's the truth. It is the sharp truth in my life right now. If I could, I would move to the mountains and make beautiful things and knit and read the Bible and love little children and put my hands in the dirt up to my elbows and cook good food and paint. I would do all that if I could.
It's a very good thing God doesn't always listen to me.
If He did, I'd be a hermit of sorts about now.
I don't want to participate all the time, especially in social respects. But more important than that, I want to make it quite clear that I'm tired of defending and refuting things, and you guys, I swear I'm done with it. I've left the port. I'm gone and gone and gone, and I'm not looking back. I refuse to discuss pointless endeavors that have nothing to do with Christ and His goodness. I refuse to waste my time like that anymore. I don't want everyone staring at me just for the sake of having them stare at me.
Do stuff that matters, not things that will make people look at you.
That's all I have to say today.
Dear Miss Bella,
ReplyDeleteWhilst I don't know you personally, I am a former mathematics colleague of your lovely sister's husband, and found your blog thusly.
Since then, I've been reading it avidly, because you have this incredible gift for putting all of the things that *I* am feeling into beautiful, heart-wrenching prose. Your words, and ability to articulate them, are such a wonderful gift.
And I wanted to thank you for this post. For being exactly what I needed to read this week. It has made me feel a great deal less alone, to know that another soul on this earth shares the same sentiments, same desires, same values. So, you have my gratitude and appreciation. Thank you so very much.
Thank you Kassia! It's good to hear from a kindred spirit, especially on matters such as this one. I'm glad we're in this together.
DeleteBella,
ReplyDeleteI have become frustrated too. You are not the only one. I find that a lot of what matters gets ignored, too often, or the words of others are dismissed too quickly. It gets wearisome. But, too, I realize how addicted I am to the current status quo. How I lack self-control and imagination and motivation. I am in need of mercy myself.
Peace be with you, Bella.
~Rachel
Rachel,
DeleteWe are sadly a generation chained to the status quo. Let's redeem ourselves by the grace of Jesus and with His patience.
"I am in need of mercy myself."
We all are. Those words are true and beautiful. I want to hang them on my wall.
Hello! I follow you on Instagram and am so happy to find that not only are you a blogger, but you aren't afraid to write honest things like this. This post speaks to me so strongly. Thank you, thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAna!
DeleteHello! So good to see you've found me. I am glad to cyber-meet you. And glad that your heart is being tugged in the same direction that mine is.
Also, your poetry on your blog? Gorgeous.