Being built

I finished the old Testament this morning. Literally, really, truly. I sat with my small white porcelain cup full of milky coffee, and I read the last word in the last prophecy in the last book in my Bible. I wish I could tell you I had a "wow" moment then, after it was all over and done with. Or that I did something dramatic, like burst into tears + sobs. Or even that I celebrated. But I won't lie to you.

I just sat there.

My hand pressed on top of the small leather book that I had been reading out of. Still + silent. I breathed. I thanked God for giving me the grace to travel this far. The sun crept up behind the foggy hills. And I just sat there.

When I finished this morning + I turned the page to the book of Matthew and I looked around me. I was humbled. I could have never imagined that I would be here + now when I finished this half of what I had started so many years ago. Never in my wildest dreams. If at fourteen you had sat me down and pressed a hand against my arm and said, you'll be away from home at twenty-two when you finish Malachi. You'll be different, I would not have believed you. Never. Not for the big white bowl on the beautifully stained shelf that my daddy made. Not for the matching jars or the tins full of tea lining the walls of my kitchen. Not for the daisies on my table. Not for the French I know now. Not for the old books stacked on my pine dresser in my very own bedroom.
Not for anything in the world could you have convinced me back then.

I am so grateful for how far the carpenter has brought me.
How much more He has built me.

So I just sat there, and I thanked Him this morning.
Because I knew then that in however many more years when I actually do finish + read the final word in Revelation + close the little leather book, I have no idea where I'll be. Who I'll be. What I'll be doing. And I become slightly choked + knotted up right now just thinking about that.
God has made me new + more beautiful, and better yet, He can do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.

I am breathless in anticipation for Revelation.
Because I am expecting even more wondrous things to have happened by then. Unimaginable things.

I can't wait for things to be even better than now.