Grateful.

When I was younger, I used to be very,very happy. I would wake up, entirely satisfied. Literally. In the mornings, I'd open my eyes and just relish the moment. Because I knew it was going to be a good day. I knew, and I was glad.
And then things changed.

I just sat here for something like ten minutes writing all about how things changed. And not for the better. I looked at the list I made. And I deleted it.
It's the blog post you'll never read.

Because it's not about things changing for the worse. It's not about me. I am slowly coming to terms with that. It has taken a lot of prophets, and some Jane Eyre, but I am getting there.

See, I feel the need to change myself. Still. And for a while I wanted to go back to that whole waking up happy self I used to be, but she isn't anything like me anymore. I know more. I've seen more. Done more.
I am more now.
It's not about going back. It's about the here and now. It's about learning from Ezekiel and reading page 260 of Jane Eyre over and over again. It is about helping people. It is about being different.
Living in the past is hopeless. The only hope we have is in the future.
What is ahead.

Simply, a grateful heart. For what is now.

I am going to store my treasures up in heaven, write more in that story I started, study, and then go to sleep. All with a grateful heart.

Here's to a new start.