I cannot be disappointed.

Dear Fleur.
Today I watched "The Princess Bride." I also painted and nannyed and wrote in a special story.
I am missing Kirsten.
She was in my dream last night.
It was not a good dream.

I was marrying a Navy Seal. He had bullet hole scars in his back and built me chairs. I think I always dream of people like him building me chairs.
Kirsten was in my wedding. She wore a little peach coloured dress. I don't even really like peach that much. And we both carried peonies because they are my favourite.
He had bad dreams at night after we got married. And he was always sweating and shaking. So we would get up together and go sit on our porch and I would sit in his lap and fall asleep again. But he would be awake.
Always awake.
We gardened together. We grew peonies because they are my favourite. And sometimes he got mad at me for no reason. Our peonies did really well. Our marriage was falling apart. Only after four months or something like that.
We were dying.
Slowly.
And it was because I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how he could fall asleep. I couldn't get rid of the nightmares. All I could do with him was garden and sit in his chairs he built and not watch the sunrise with him.
Then he left me.
Kirsten and I looked everywhere for him. We called everyone. He didn't even take his things. He didn't bother. And we couldn't find him. Because he was a Seal. He was good at leaving and hiding and not being found.
I sat in the chair he made and cried for days.

Then I woke up to watch a meteor shower and only saw six meteors and two shooting stars. At first I was disappointed. A bad dream and a lack of meteors. But after you stare at the glory of God's night sky for an hour, you can't really be mad anymore.
I think I will paint Kirsten a picture now. And maybe make something. Or just put my hair down and fall asleep in the sunshine.
Maybe I'll have a good dream.

I want a chair to sit in.
And now all the Waltons are crying.
This day is just great. Just great.
Bella.