Dying.

Dear Fleur.
My pickle fork ring is making my thumb itch. I had to take it off so I could type this.
I have five papers due this week. Fun. Three for ECE. And two for Screenwriting. And I think I might end up having one for Small Group too. I will be so happy when this term is over. Zeriously.
I laid on my floor today. I counted to thirty. I was going to count to sixty, but I ran out of time.
Is it bad to be tired of people falling in love?
I was drawing today too. Pictures of hair. I like drawing buns and hair and bangs now. I really want to get good at kittens. Not that I want to be a hipster or anything, I just want to be able to draw kittens.

In church this morning, my pastor talked about Paul. We talk about Paul a lot I noticed. We are in Acts, but it is still a lot.
We talked about Paul dying.
I sat in the sound-booth and thought about him dying. I thought about the letter he wrote to Timothy. I thought about how Timothy would have felt knowing Paul was going to die. I looked at my pinky finger and noticed how small it was. I tried to count the towns that Paul went through on his missionary journey that had churches and I couldn't do it. Which made me think that maybe there is a whole other part of the Bible, and maybe we are missing like eighty letters that Paul wrote to other churches. I got mad at myself for not being able to stop biting my fingernails yet. Then I wanted to cry because I thought maybe there was a letter to a church that I should read. Then I decided that I really only wanted to cry because Paul the Apostle is dead.
I felt ridiculous.

Tonight I skyped Kirsten and read her some bedtime stories. We talked about cinnamon rolls, bakery plans, and summer trips. I smiled at my best friend and I couldn't see her but it was fine because I was holding "Olivia."
I dreamed of Henna again the other night. India seems close right now.
Screenwriting tomorrow morning. And then I should get at least two papers done. Maybe my ECE reading and essay and then my five pages of dialogue. I'm going to need coffee.
Love Bella.